my gift..my life..thanking god
Thursday, January 27, 2005
WARNING: THIS GAL IS MORBID FOR THE TIME BEING...REMAIN A SAFE DISTANCE FROM COMPUTER!!!
here goes...yesterdae we had drama for 4 hours...and the dae befor for 3 hours...i m exausted, feeling as if all my energy is drained to the every last drop...i donno wads up wif drama...productions great...every things great and all but its...i donnoe wad it is...actually i donno wad its not...its like in Drama everythings fake...i luv acting and all...but it isn't the stage its the ppl on the stage...i luv them...ya...but i mean i mean cummon man...its like...i just can't bring myself to type it down...ya...i mean yesterdae was so emotionally unbalance...one minute every1s smiling and the other frown replaces them... its like we r in a whirpool of emotions and each minute we are being twisted, and along with us twists our emotion...well the main thing is that yesterdae was casting for SYF...i neva wanted to get in it...put my name in the 'lighting list" ten came along a great fren suggesting in put my name in main cast...my brain says yes heart says no...followed my brain unfortunately...then the auditions...din get in..was happy...u r perhaps thinking man, this gal is morbid...nuts...y would ani1 not wanna to get a role?...morbid...yes i am but nuts? i beg to differ...thats all....no i don beg to differ...i am naturally different...i mean every1 is rite? yah so the last part of the story...the sec4s were anxious-most of them...wanted to get a role and all...but unfortunately there are only eight roles...so it was a tof fight...and as usual those who were not so popular din get in...and there goes...i ain't speaking for myself...i m just reading wads in every1s mind and being the nice one to pen it down...i got into production was a mix...both talent and luck...i suppose its more luck than talent...sighs...i donno...i seriously don't...i find this whole thing a waste... a waste hoping for a miracle....
and hoping that that miracle is not a miracle at all...you noe wad im saying?...well a couple went home teary eyed...my heart was sinking....and its like...i so sick of it...i mean...talk abt unfair!!! i donno....lar...i m just fustrating my anger...and all...and the thought of having like a million tests b4 the weekend and aftea doesn make the world a nicer place to be in...lols...as u can see. my emotional stablity is at ground zero...don't think its gonna go any more shaky than it already is...sighs...stop it aneesa u sound like a fool....well its my conscience voiceing its concerns and rubbing the fact that i hav a meeting on sat from 11am to 10pm and tution frm 5-7...lols...wow...thats soo wonderful!!!well well...i suppose im lucky for drama...i got many apportunities to act esp during production as main cast...i mean its so unfair...for those who din't get a chance to shine under limelight...
k lar sorie for being an irritant...i noe...i am so irritating...ani wae just to tell you the truth...i actually luv drama...i mean the ppl are pigs at time but then who isn't?...i mean...i was a pig a few minutes ago rite? haha...man oh man...wad to do?...so contridicting...hiyah maybe i should consult a pyschaitrist?! lols...considering i want to becum 1 myself i vote that option out...this year i have vowed not to run for sports dae...i noe....i m being that morbid bitch again...i don wanna run...nope not this year...coz i think that if u wanna run u need ur heart and soul in it...don hav it this time considering wad happend last year ill be a fool to take part again...it would just bring my self honour down and ill be standing level to it...man oh man...i aint making sense...dont try making sense out of it....feeling more than mere morbidness(is there such a word?) bye now for i am not in the mood for animore nonsense from myself..."nuts" claims my conscience..."nutty conscience" i reply...sighs this is getting me no where..."stop sighing" orders conscience...i don't wanna argue with it for it seems to not leave my soul in peace for a single second...now if u can listen close...you can here it chanting..."say goodbye now... see your work piling up...homework calls!!...say goodbye now...see your work piling up...homework calls!!"
bet u can't hear but i can and well have to give in to it for it is telling the true and may the good win...always...well we noe that in life generally its another story but for now...i shall let conscience win...toodles
``grateful for today..toodles ; 3:19 AM
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Saturday, January 22, 2005
man...there went the hols and now i m piled with work and more work....sighs ....i haven felt the stress yet surprisingly but this year i have many ppl to prove wrong....yap...i luv when that happens it is like a nice way of slapping ones face and then laughing at it....of curz in a goood way...it hurts no-one just makes me merrier...and satisfied and then when the person cums up with something to say can just shove it on his/her face....(lols) just the thought of it makes me glow...haha...well we have to have motivation rite...and my source of such is tru this...call it unfortunate or perhaps fortunate...well that really depends on which side of the table ur on rite?! well if u r gonna ask me how the year has kicked off i am clueless....as usual i have no comments....i mean at the end of the dae i sit and think wadhave i learnt todae and i smile to myself( or more like grin) and assure myself that i have:
1) created a smile in someones heart
2) done my duties as a sis and daughter
3) and lastly done something foolish but satisfying....like jumping ard....
Then i tell myself well done Aneesa at this rate...u will get oscar awards for acting as an angel!
lols
k lar gotta go...
oh wait ill tell you how the New year started with:
A NEW comp!!(hooray and at last)
A NEW pair of glasses
.....loads more lar bu t me bros on me back to get of this comp so toodles
``grateful for today..toodles ; 5:21 AM
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Monday, January 03, 2005
...do u noe wad? i miss yvip...ya...boy ...so its the 4th day of a brand new year...and i have gotten the hang of writting 2005 at last...i mean last year it took me 6 months just to write 04!! but i like 04 betta then 05...i mean the number...and 06 is much betta!! luv 06 already...can't wait for the 4 months hols...yah...pity that we have to pass through o level first...man nasty huh? speaking of cruelty...the tsunami....ya...man i wander how the ppl r doing in Nagapatinam...home town....sighs miss india...and me relatives...well lifes gotta go on...no use staying in the past when everyone has moved forward...its just that the first step hurts and once u get things going u can't stop...ya..so...oh we had CA todae...boy...no comments...thats all...k lar gotta go...when the time comes we shall meet....ya.....bye!! toodles
aneesa
``grateful for today..toodles ; 11:13 PM
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